Archive for premiership

Barcelona vs Manchester

Ah, St George’s Day. This augurs well for an English team marching into a Catalan fortress to do battle with the locally assembled gladiatorial cream. What’s that? George is also the patron saint of Catalonia, where he’s known by the dashing, Latinate moniker Jordi! Oh, dear, next you’ll be telling me that George/Jordi was neither English nor Catalan, but rather a Turkish-born Roman soldier. Oh dear. Well at least he slayed that dragon. Oh, I see….

It’s all at this site here. Apparently he’s also the patron saint of Ethiopia, Canada, Serbia, Montenegro, Moscow etc and so on.

As for tonight’s match, whether the stalemate stemmed from St George favouring both teams or neither I couldn’t say, though I suspect it was because, knowing that it would be the second leg that counted, he spent the evening with Ethiopia or Canada. The match did get off to a decent start. Barcelona survived an early penalty scare when both of central defender Gabriel Milito’s flailing hands connected with the ball, but Cristiano Ronaldo, with goalkeeper Victor Valdes going the wrong way, could only find the right-hand post. After that Barcelona regrouped, but although they had the lion’s share of the possession, they offered very little in the way of penetration and Edwin van der Sar was hardly tested until Thierry Henry came on and showed that rasping shots on target are one of the best ways to fluster goalkeepers. Unfortunately for Barcelona, he didn’t have enough time to make his theory stick, and on a night when Messi was reasonably effective, and Ronaldo started fairly brightly but never really caught fire none of the supporting cast of either team really got going. Rooney in particular seemed curiously off the pace, and with Anderson on the bench and Ferguson playing Owen Hargreaves at right back to allow Wes Brown to slot in for the ill Nemanja Vidic at centre half, there was no dynamism in the middle of the pitch, where Scholes and Carrick were solid but uninspiring. In the end Ferguson seemed to be content to settle for the draw and trust that his team to be more enterprising at Old Trafford next week.

As a neutral I for one hope that Deco and Messi, both today returning from injury and both substituted tonight, will have regained match fitness in time for the second leg. I also hope that Rooney and Ronaldo shake off the malaise that seems to have afflicted them since Saturday’s league draw with Blackburn. At least Ronaldo looked pacey and threatening in bursts tonight, but Rooney, though willing, seemed ill at ease, and as much as his defensive commitment is to be commended, he seemed more comfortable operating as an auxiliary left back whenever United had conceded possession than marauding forward when they had reclaimed it.

Frank’s revenge

Frank and John

Frank and John plot revenge on the evil Michael Ballack

Fat Frank has turned down a lucrative contract offer with Chelsea. Meanwhile, in a sleepy mediterranean town, a small fan-owned club called Barcelona has decided that they don’t require the services of England’s porky, misfiring midfielder. Having already met their quota of one portly tackle-shy hasbeen, and having just splashed out £16 000 000 on another soon-to-be 30 year-old on the fast-track away from brilliance, the Catalonian club clearly feels that one fat man and one comedy signing is all they need at present.

Perennial fontrunners in la liga’s laughing stock stakes, Real Madrid, have also decided to deprive their fans the sight of Frank’s plaintive look of schoolboy sorrow, primarily because Ruud van Nistelrooy’s salary means they can’t afford to lose more than 5 balls a game to the fans in row Z.

Milan join Barcelona and Madrid in denying any interest in Frank, which means that our hero can either swallow his pride and accept the paltry £110 000 a week on offer from Chelsea, or embark on a danger-filled but comical expedition of great genius to reclaim from the personal vault of Michael Ballack the millions that are rightfully Frank’s. With John Terry also reportedly unhappy about the money on offer to him, Frank may have found a Brad to his George. However, until they can find an American willing to flog a cockney accent within an inch of its life, Ballack’s bullion will be safe for the time being. Oh, Don Cheadle’s free next week, you say….

The Manchurian Candidate

Has it occurred to anyone that Alexi Lalas is actually an unwitting agent of the American state, programmed to throw a liberal western democracy into chaos, though not by assassinating a controversial politician with a well-lubricated media machine, but by defaming a controversial football league with a well-lubricated marketing machine. Clearly the English Premiership’s house of cards is a mere flick of the finger away from collapse, as evidenced by the in-fighting precipitated by an interview the former U.S. international gave to the (formerly Manchester) Guardian. There’s not much to say, really. Is it credible to assume that Lalas genuinely believes that the Premiership an inferior product. Probably. After all, he is not forwarding the argument that the English top flight is worse that its American counterpart, merely that an aggressive marketing strategy has convinced many around the world that English football is of a greater quality than the top-heavy nature of the league more genuinely indicates. Isn’t he on the money there?

Or is he just distracting football lovers in England while corporate America annexes the Premier League?

Alexi responds to his English critics

eating my own words dept, vol 1

In an entry I composed in response to Michael Carrick’s exorbitant transfer from Spurs to Manchester United I was perhaps a little critical of the former West Ham man. Certainly I believe that Man Utd paid over the top, but unlike some United players who have commanded fantasy fees in recent years (see Veron, Juan Sebastian and Ferdinand, Rio), Carrick has proved that he is a player of the highest quality. Two exquisite goals in the first and second halves against Roma have been the most eyecatching of his work as a Manchester United player thus far, but it is with a season of consistently outstanding performances moving the ball simply from defence to attack Carrick has answered critics that quick to condemn him for failing to fulfil the potential he showed as a junior. Clearly the time is well overdue to re-evaluate Carrick’s ability to control the flow of the game–especially in light of England’s dire performances in the qualification campaign for Euro 2008. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more of the man in an England shirt, especially if Frank Lampard can develop a convenient habit of injuring his hand before international fixtures.