Archive for humble pie

Frank’s revenge

{ July 2, 2007 @ 9:18 am } · { English Premiership, Football, epl, humble pie, premier league, premiership }
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Frank and John

Frank and John plot revenge on the evil Michael Ballack

Fat Frank has turned down a lucrative contract offer with Chelsea. Meanwhile, in a sleepy mediterranean town, a small fan-owned club called Barcelona has decided that they don’t require the services of England’s porky, misfiring midfielder. Having already met their quota of one portly tackle-shy hasbeen, and having just splashed out £16 000 000 on another soon-to-be 30 year-old on the fast-track away from brilliance, the Catalonian club clearly feels that one fat man and one comedy signing is all they need at present.

Perennial fontrunners in la liga’s laughing stock stakes, Real Madrid, have also decided to deprive their fans the sight of Frank’s plaintive look of schoolboy sorrow, primarily because Ruud van Nistelrooy’s salary means they can’t afford to lose more than 5 balls a game to the fans in row Z.

Milan join Barcelona and Madrid in denying any interest in Frank, which means that our hero can either swallow his pride and accept the paltry £110 000 a week on offer from Chelsea, or embark on a danger-filled but comical expedition of great genius to reclaim from the personal vault of Michael Ballack the millions that are rightfully Frank’s. With John Terry also reportedly unhappy about the money on offer to him, Frank may have found a Brad to his George. However, until they can find an American willing to flog a cockney accent within an inch of its life, Ballack’s bullion will be safe for the time being. Oh, Don Cheadle’s free next week, you say….

eating my own words dept, vol 1

{ April 18, 2007 @ 2:26 am } · { English Premiership, Football, Michael Carrick, humble pie, premier league, premiership }
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In an entry I composed in response to Michael Carrick’s exorbitant transfer from Spurs to Manchester United I was perhaps a little critical of the former West Ham man. Certainly I believe that Man Utd paid over the top, but unlike some United players who have commanded fantasy fees in recent years (see Veron, Juan Sebastian and Ferdinand, Rio), Carrick has proved that he is a player of the highest quality. Two exquisite goals in the first and second halves against Roma have been the most eyecatching of his work as a Manchester United player thus far, but it is with a season of consistently outstanding performances moving the ball simply from defence to attack Carrick has answered critics that quick to condemn him for failing to fulfil the potential he showed as a junior. Clearly the time is well overdue to re-evaluate Carrick’s ability to control the flow of the game–especially in light of England’s dire performances in the qualification campaign for Euro 2008. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more of the man in an England shirt, especially if Frank Lampard can develop a convenient habit of injuring his hand before international fixtures.